Family Ministry

Attraction vs. Discipleship: What are we Feeding our Students? (Part 2)

Posted on April 2, 2014April 4, 2014 by Chris Euler

Everybody is doing it. Just this one time won’t hurt. Relationships solve every problem. You are #1. Popularity and power are keys to success. Music is life. Image is everything. But he loves me. We are attracted to each other in every way possible!

In a culture that is full of lies and falsities, many of our students are missing the mark of authentic discipleship! Much of our time in youth ministry is spent attracting students, yet we often find ourselves using the same tactics as SnapChat, Nike, Apple, Abercrombie, and Starbucks. The image of our ministry is everything! We want the latest and greatest of everything! We want to be in the spotlight of our schools. We want leaders to thank us and show their appreciation for us. We want our senior pastors to acknowledge our works and abilities. We want parents to see their kids are having fun and staying safe when they are with us. We want to fit in with the ‘cool kids!’ We want to be edgy with our messages and ways of communication. We want students to think we are hip before they mention our love for Jesus.

What are we feeding our students? What do they take away from their time in our ministries? What are we communicating? How are we attracting new students and connecting them into a journey with Christ?

I challenge every ministry leader, every youth pastor, every volunteer, and every parent to see their responsibility of making disciples before they ever think about creating cool ministries full of popular students! We often become disillusioned in our quest for discipleship. We trick ourselves into believing that if we attract the right students we will grow an awesome ministry. While that can be true based on numbers it does not always equate into a culture of discipleship. Here are six warning signs that can appear within a Culture of Attraction versus six key focuses we must strive towards in order to develop a Culture of Discipleship.

Here is an in-depth breakdown of the first three…

1. Emotional Rollercoaster vs. Foundation in Christ

2. Events & Programs vs. Relationships & Community

3. Elevating Self vs. Elevating God’s Voice

4. Reliance on Yourself vs. Reliance on God – It is for us easy to rely on ourselves when life is going great. We can own our success and strive to be more awesome than the person next to us. When times get tough we tend to blame God and point our finger at those around us. Within ministry, it is easy to put one’s successes and failures in the spotlight. We tend to highlight celebration stories and call out failures and mistakes. Through all of this, we become inclined to focus on the abilities of the individual instead of God’s love and abilities through the individual!

Our students need to know they cannot rely on themselves. Every time I trust myself, I fail others. As I fail others I miss the purpose God has for me. When we trust God, we will impact others, and ultimately bring honor and glory to the Father! By relying on God, we will see life in a whole new way! God is love and we tend to be full of revenge. God is patient but we want things done immediately. God is faithful even as we fail Him! Our students struggle with balance, structure, and consistency. Relying on themselves is going to lead to an unbalanced, unhealthy, inconsistent walk with Christ. As we teach our students to completely rely on the Father, they will experience life to its fullness!

5. Large Group vs. The Whole Person – Is your level of success measured by how many come to your weekly student ministry gathering or how many individuals are drastically changed for the cause of Christ? Before I continue, please understand that when we see disciples made, numerical growth will take place. But, often we see numerical growth happen without authentic discipleship occurring. We must not measure success based on the number within the large group!

For many youth pastors, much your time is spent impacting the largest amount possible at one time. In other words, we pour into our weekly gatherings to make them fun, inviting, attractive, and full of energy. Although there is nothing wrong with that at a surface level, are we missing the whole person? In other words, are we missing the individuals God has called us to directly impact? As we look at Jesus’ ministry, we see a model of ministry focused more on the 3 and 12 then on the 70, 120, and 5000. He poured into Peter, James, and John – opening his life to each of them in a very personal way. He looked at every aspect of Peter and desired to see him become whole! Peter took that example and carried into his ministry throughout Acts. Yes, there was time poured into large gatherings, but Jesus had a heart for the individual person.

As you look at your schedule, how do you break up your time? Are you spending a good portion of your time ministering to those closest to you or is all of your time eaten up by the attractional aspect of programs and events? Who are your 3 and 12? What does that relationship look like? Are you living a life worth imitating in order to create a culture of discipleship?

6. Living for the Moment vs. Living on Mission – Culture has brainwashed our students into believing the living in the moment is more important than the overall mission. In others words, the decisions you make today won’t impact your tomorrow. Have fun and enjoy every moment to its fullest. Lie! I made choices in high school that have impacted my relationships as an adult – both with positive and negative implications. Many of those were ‘in the moment’ decisions that were exciting, adventurous, and fun. I did not realize how they would impact the mission God had for me. When we live moment-to-moment we tend to struggle with boredom. I have seen so many students bounce from one ‘great’ relationship to another because they become bored with what is happening right now. This can easily transfer into ministry. I have seen so many youth leaders live in the excitement of one event or one service. When the normal routine of ministry kicks in, boredom hits. I truly believe this is why so many youth pastors bounce from one place to another or from one level of leadership to the next.

As we live on mission, the excitement of God’s calling will always get us through the difficult moments. There will always be circumstances that don’t make sense. As they times arise, are we living in the moment or living on mission for God? Is there an eternal focus and purpose driving every aspect of our ministries or are we just bouncing from one fun event to the next? As we live on mission we will experience the awesome impact a culture of discipleship can have on every moment within our ministries!

My prayer is that our time, energy, resources, and passion are poured into a culture of discipleship! Attraction is important, but seeing lives focused on a love for Christ is most important. We must be rooted in Christ, focused on relationships and community, hearing God’s voice, relying on God, compassionate for the individual person, and living on mission for God! I would love to hear how this is played out within your ministry. Where do you struggle the most? Where do you see the most success?

Attraction vs. Discipleship: What are we Feeding our Students? (Part 1)

Posted on April 1, 2014April 4, 2014 by Chris Euler

In a culture that is full of lies and falsities, many of our students are missing the mark of authentic discipleship! Much of our time in youth ministry is spent attracting students, yet we often find ourselves using the same tactics as SnapChat, Nike, Apple, Abercrombie, and Starbucks. The image of our ministry is everything! We want the latest and greatest of everything! We want to be in the spotlight of our schools. We want leaders to thank us and show their appreciation for us. We want our senior pastors to acknowledge our works and abilities. We want parents to see their kids are having fun and staying safe when they are with us. We want to fit in with the ‘cool kids!’ We want to be edgy with our messages and ways of communication. We want students to think we are hip before they mention our love for Jesus.

1. Emotional Rollercoaster vs. Foundation in Christ – Our desire is often to see our students walk away ‘feeling’ great about themselves. Over the course of a service we take our students on an emotional roller coaster, inviting them to cry, laugh, and feel appreciated. Our goal is to get them to emotionally connect to our worship leader, our speakers, and our leaders. We want them to ‘feel’ Christ, not experience Christ! In the words of Mark Lowry, ‘There are some mornings when I wake up before the sun comes up that I do not feel saved.’ Christianity cannot be based on emotions. James says we must have joy during the most difficult times! It doesn’t matter what our lives look like; we must be firmly planted in our relationship with Christ. Please don’t hear me wrong – emotions are great! Ecclesiastes 3:4 says there is “a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn, and a time to dance.”

We need to stir the passions, desires, and emotions of our students as we direct them towards a foundation in Christ. Jesus was emotional and showed compassion on many, but His personal foundation was built on a relationship with the Father! He was rooted in God, not His own personal emotions. He desired to passionately live out the Father’s calling. Are we drawing our students toward us emotionally or into a relationship with Christ that is not wavering on faulty ground?

2. Events & Programs vs. Relationships & Community – How much time do you spend on event planning and programming? Do you spend just as much time in relationships and community? Who are you discipling and who is discipling you?

It is easy to fill a calendar with summer trips, retreats, Disciple Now weekends, small group programming, services, outreach events, pizza parties, middle school ice cream socials, cardboard crazes, Christian concerts, trips to local theme parks, and… well… you get the point. I have felt at times like my level of success is measured by how many incredible events I can do. What parties am I throwing? How many kids were there? What crazy, disgusting games did we do? Who ate the chocolate out of the diaper? Who ate the blended McDonald’s happy meal? Which student won the iPad?

What if we were to narrow our ministries down to 4 major events over the course of the year – summer trip, Disciple Now weekend, fall retreat, and a Back 2 School event? It would give us the ability to pour into the lives of our leaders, families, and students on a personal level. We would see students experience community that would lead to a culture of discipleship! Jesus didn’t throw parties. He built relationships. He didn’t go from event to event. He went from person to person doing the work of the Father!

3. Elevating Self vs. Elevating God’s Voice – Unfortunately, many youth pastors use their platform as a way to promote themselves. Students can easily pick up on this, and it can become detrimental to the culture of our ministries. I have also seen youth pastors promote the individual instead of promoting a relationship with Christ. In other words, they encourage their students to just ‘do what’s best’ instead of teaching to live out God’s Word. I understand there must be grace and love, but without truth you do not get authenticity. The combination of grace, truth, and love creates a culture of discipleship.

What are you doing to elevate God’s voice over selfish desires? Do you even teach that God is clearly speaking to each and every person on the face of the planet? Do your students walk away knowing how to hear God’s voice? Once we realize God is speaking to us individually, we must pause to reflect on those Kairos moments. We are then faced with the choice to move on and ignore God – elevating our own selfish desires – or to obey God’s voice as we elevate our love for Him! Hearing and obeying God’s voice is a simple process that we must be instilling in the hearts and minds of our students!

In tomorrow’s blog, I will take a look at these last three points of difference between a culture of attraction and a culture of discipleship…

4. Reliance on Yourself vs. Reliance on God

5. Large Group vs. The Whole Person

6. Living for the Moment vs. Living on Mission

Our Kids’ Identity Crisis: Equipping Hearts for Jesus

Posted on March 30, 2014April 1, 2014 by Chris Euler

Where do your kids find their identity? What are you doing to lead your kids to an identity in Christ? Today’s culture leads our kids towards finding identity in relationships, sports, school, or entertainment. It is easy to connect with a movie character or find our identity in what is popular. Because of this, we desire to establish relationships similar to the ones portrayed in Hollywood. Our kids begin talking and acting like the kids in every Disney show, singing the songs that are on Top 40 radio stations, and living out of pursuit of popularity instead of the pursuit of Jesus Christ! I have seen my kids find their identity in their gifts, abilities, and talents. Landon, our 7-year old son, is an excellent baseball player who often centers who he is on his success or failures on the field. If he has a great game – he is a great person to be around; if he struggles, watch out! Our girls struggle to identify with anything beyond what they see on television, hear on the radio, or learn those around them. While establishing a culture of discipleship within our families is of the utmost importance, I do not believe secluding our kids completely from culture and the world around us accomplishes what God desires. This often leads to an identity in legalism or established religion, instead of in a relationship with Christ! As we live out the truth of God’s Word and speak life into your kids, they will begin experiencing identity in Christ! Here are three practical keys to leading your kids

Speak words of affirmation & self-worth – Our kids need to hear words of encouragement, love, and grace. We must use our words wisely as we live out the responsibilities of parenthood. So much of culture preaches and teaches that affirmation and worth are found in success and relationships. Our kids need to know that they are God’s creation, made in His image, and designed to bring Him honor and glory. They do not need to accomplish a list of 100 things to obtain God’s love. It is available to anybody who believes in Him! I have seen so many teenage girls run to a relationship to experience love and self-worth. What are we doing to establish a life of worthiness in a relationship with Christ? Are you speaking words of defamation or words of affirmation?
Establish cultural boundaries – I do not believe that God has called us to seclude ourselves from the entire world. He has not only called us to be in the world, but has also given us the responsibility to reach the world. The Village, one of my favorite movies of all-time, is about a countryside town that isolates itself from the surrounding world. They missed their purpose and placed their identity in their cultural traditions. Within modern Christianity, this can often lead to a legalistic relationship based on rituals, tradition, and rules. It causes us to miss the incredible love, grace, and compassion offered to us in a relationship with Christ! At the same time, I see incredible value in setting boundaries around our kids’ interactions with culture. There are certain shows our children are not allowed to watch. There are certain types of music that we do not listen to. We do not have cable, do not allow our kids to stay the night at a random friend’ house, and do not own a video game system. As our girls get older we will begin working towards a life of modesty and purity, and as our boys mature we will work to impart a life of love and respect. Most importantly, we believe training our children in the admonition of the Lord will help instill an identity in Christ, not culture!
Approach the Heart – I wish I could say I have this one mastered! I want my kids to obey and immediately do what I have asked them to do. I often become so focused on the actions and attitudes that I miss the heart! I want my kids to have the knowledge of who God is, but I often skip from their hearts and go straight from the heads to their hands. We cannot miss our kids’ hearts! There is a time and place for discipline and a time and place to approach the actions, but we cannot miss the attitude of the heart. As we accomplish this, their actions will become a representation of their authentic love for God!

Romans 5:6-11 – “6 You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. 7 Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. 8 But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. 9 Since we have now been justified by his blood, how much more shall we be saved from God’s wrath through him! 10 For if, while we were God’s enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through his life! 11 Not only is this so, but we also boast in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.” Are we living out these words of Paul in front of our kids? Do we believe that while ‘we were still powerless, Christ died for’ us? It is only through a relationship with Christ that we can experience true reconciliation! His love is more affirming than any relationship we will ever know. Abiding in Him gives us purpose and worth that goes beyond anything we could ever imagine. Our kids need to hear these words as well! Lead by example and speak life into your children every chance you get!